


Creases In Her Heart

by MollyMood (cymba)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Age Difference, Amusement Parks, Boss/Employee Relationship, Carnival, Carnival Workers, Coercion, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, First Time, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Loss of Virginity, Mental Coercion, Past Drug Addiction, Past Drug Use, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Coercion, Underage Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-03 11:31:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17283248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cymba/pseuds/MollyMood
Summary: Rey is a new worker at the carnival in town. She's so nervous during her first shift that she manages to break the mechanical bull. Her shift supervisor offers to sweep it under the rug if she does something to earn his leniency, and because she needs this job, Rey is inclined to agree.





	Creases In Her Heart

**Author's Note:**

> alert: this is a fake story that is 100% fictional about characters who don't really exist.
> 
> "I'm gonna finish all my WIPs," I say as I post this completely new fic.
> 
> I mean... I AM gonna finish all my WIPs, just like... later....

Rey's only been at work for a few hours when she screws up the mechanical bull ride. She pushes a button too sharply, or tugs the lever too hard, or leans against the control panel, or  _something_ that makes the ride clunk dead, just as a teen kid and his birthday party entourage were getting ready to try it.

After awkward stammering and panicked slamming on the control box, she's forced to grab her phone and dial her shift supervisor's phone number. She chews on her thumbnail and looks around the suffocating crowd, as though she could ever see him through the bodies. The phone keeps ringing with no answer, and Rey almost wishes he won't pick up. He gives her the skeevies, _has_ done ever since her interview with him. She's spent two weeks on training before today, and he spent half the time leering at her body and trying to get close enough to touch her. He's a  _huge_ weirdo, but it's also her job to call him in times like this, and she'd be disciplined for contacting the wrong supervisor.

After endless ringing, Ben Solo finally - unfortunately - answers the phone.

"Hey, Rey," he says, sounding pleased. "Miss me already?"

She rolls her eyes hard and crosses her arm over her body.

"The bull broke down," she says, glancing at the boys laughing and showing each other things on their phones; memes, probably. "Can you come look at it?"

"Yeah, all right. I'll be over."

Rey hangs up without saying goodbye. She wishes she could get Poe or Finn or Paige as supervisors instead of Ben. None of them have ever behaved inappropriately with her. Ben's creepy in general, but even more so since Rey knows he's close to thirty and lusts after her when she's an underage girl. He knows her age, but that somehow doesn't stop him from staring and trying to cop a feel.

He's there in no time dressed in the same ugly red and grey uniform they're all forced to wear.

"What seems to be the problem?" he asks over the raucousness.

Rey has her arms crossed, but gestures to the machine and steps back, not looking at him. She's paranoid that if she looks him in the eyes, he'll take it as permission to talk to her or something. She doesn't want him talking to her.

He fiddles around with it while the crowd pays idle attention, just wanting the ride repaired so they can continue with their evening. But instead of it being a simple fix, the machine is apparently destroyed.

"I don't know what you did," says Ben, pulling back from the panel, "but you completely wrecked it."

Rey's lips part and she finally turns her wide-eyed gaze to him. He's staring at the machine, looking like he's giving up.

"What, that's it?" she asks, harsh. "You're barely even did anything. Why don't you call repairs or something?"

He looks at her, gaze darkening and drifting down her body. She wants to shout at him, tell him to stop being such a fucking creep all the time - especially in such an important moment - but instead she just shifts her stance and looks away, tightening her crossed arms.

"I _am_ repairs," he says, distracted, and then glances back to the machine. "We never had any problems with this, and then as soon as you come on staff, it busts?" He shakes his head and gives her a shrug. "Sucks since it's your first day and all, but you're definitely gonna get fired for this."

Rey snaps her head up, looking at him again.

"Wait, what? Are you serious?"

He keeps his focus on the machine, crosses his arms.

"You broke a six thousand dollar piece of equipment on your first day," he says, maybe a little amused, like he's making fun of her. "That's grounds for termination, I'd think."

Rey exhales sharply, shoulders falling.

"That's not ... that isn't fair."

She says it weakly because she's sure it  _is_ grounds for termination, but getting fired will make her lose everything. This job is supposed to be her proof, evidence to her parents that she isn't the lost cause they think she is. A few accidental drug overdoses don't define her, that's been her entire motto for months now in her desperate attempt not to be forcibly sent away to some rehabilitation center. She's been clean for almost five months, but she _knows_  her mother and father, and they're going to think she got fired because she's relapsed. They don't believe her anymore. They're convinced any trouble she gets into is drug-related, and she's certain they'll send her away.

"I need this job," she murmurs in a panic, talking only to herself.

Ben murmurs, faux-sympathetic. "I'm sure you do."

He shouts for everyone to clear out and disconnects the machine while Rey stands nervously by, waiting to be escorted to their boss. She's thinking maybe she can convince Ben not to tell on her, but that obviously means he'll have to take the fall instead, and there's no way the slime ball would do that for anyone, let alone her.

"Come on," he says, leaning too close to her, and then grabs her elbow and tugs her along.

Rey rolls her arm out of his grip and follows him, trying to come up with ways to explain herself to her boss. She really has no idea what she did to break the bull, and she thinks maybe it was just old anyway, but she doubts Snoke will see it that way.

Only Ben doesn't take her to Snoke. He leads her to the small office where the supervisors sometimes hang out. It's a shack - no bigger than her bedroom - with only a desk, a small television box, and a few lockers. Ben closes them inside and locks the door, the voices of the carnival-goers abruptly softening. He tugs down the blinds while Rey stands by the door, on-edge now that he's locked it.

"Why did you bring me here?"

Ben sits on the edge of the desk, hands curled around the edges.

"You said you need this job. How badly?"

She holds back a retort, swallowing the dryness in her mouth. This is fucking weird ... she's getting a horrible feeling from him for sure.

"I don't know," she says, nervous. "A lot. Why?"

He shrugs a shoulder, tilts his head from side, calculating.

"Well, I'm in a position to help you, Rey."

She knows - she just  _knows_ \- where this is going, probably knew it the second he locked the door.

"I'm not having sex with you."

Part of her _is_ skeptical of the idea that he'd actually be talking about that, but her heart seizes when his next words confirm it.

"No? Would you really rather get fired?"

He looks like he genuinely doesn't know her answer, and Rey's surprised to find that neither does she. She's a virgin, and she's scared of having a horribly uncomfortable first time that puts her off sex forever.

But - and it's stupid, it's  _so_ unbelievably stupid - she wants her parents' validation and acceptance more than she wants her first time to be special. A shiver creeps down her spine, raising goosebumps in its wake all the way down to her legs. She could puke just thinking about having sex with _this_ particular man, regardless of her virgin status, but she's knows that she's ultimately safe. It will end eventually, it will have to.

She takes a deep breath, neck stiff, and keeps her eyes on the ground as she speaks.

"If I do this, you won't let me lose this job?"

It takes him a second to say anything, a second that seems longer in such a frightening moment.

"As long as you're a good girl for me," he says softly.

Rey shivers at his words, sickened, but she doesn't feel like she's allowed to say anything against it. She still takes a moment to really come to terms with this being her decision, having to quash down the uneasy feeling of her self-worth tearing in half. This feels like debasement, and she's not sure she can find a way out of it.

"What do you want me to do?" she asks quietly.

She's not looking at his face, but she hears him sigh.

"Get on your knees."

It's a command she should have expected, but it still scares her, makes her feel likes she's in some kind of danger. She steps back and lowers herself to the ground, her heart pounding hard enough beneath her ribs that she can see her skin pulse with each beat. She settles on her knees on the dusty wood, hands and feet turning cold with nerves. She waits for a long moment, but nothing follows, so she looks up into his eyes. It seems to be what he was waiting for.

"Take off my belt."

His voice is low and deliberate, filled with the arrogant confidence of a man who knows whatever he says will be obeyed.

Rey swallows, jaw trembling, and raises her hands to slowly work his belt through the loops. It's the only clear sound in the tiny office, her fingers working his clothes loose. People laugh and chatter and shout outside, distant voices filled with joy. It creeps her out, makes her blood sting that people are so close by, having a nice, cheerful day while she's on her knees for her boss doing ... this.

Ben reaches forward and strokes his fingers through her hair, taking his time to feel the strands against his fingers. He sighs through his nose, brushing her hair behind her shoulders as she undoes his zipper and tugs his jeans down. She can't help noticing the growing bulge in his boxers. He's not erect, but he's getting there, and Rey just  _knows_ part of this deal includes her getting him hard with her mouth.

She tilts her head back to meet his gaze, searching for confirmation of her own thoughts.

"Those, too," he murmurs, tracing her eyebrow with his thumb.

Rey takes a deep, discreet breath and shifts on her knees as she pinches the fabric of his boxers on either thigh, pulling them down after his pants. He doesn't step out of them, his free hand going to his half-hard cock to lift it to her face, tapping it against her lips.

"Come on," he whispers, running himself against the seam of her mouth. "Have a taste."

Rey shivers, staring below his belly button as she slowly parts her lips. Ben forces himself into the narrow opening, making her gag and squeeze her eyes shut as he stuffs her full of him. Rey grasps his thighs, long nails digging in, a soft pain that Ben apparently likes. He groans and guides himself against her tongue, using his hand on her head to bob her mouth the way he wants.

Rey mentally reminds herself over and over that she chose this, this is good, this is the lesser of two evils. It's just sex. Tons of people do it. If she could just get  _into_ it, then everything would be fine.

It's difficult to get into, though, when she hears children laughing outside. The happy, youthful sound paired with Ben's satisfied grunts as he fucks her face makes her want to cry. She can feel her innocence slipping away the harder he grows in her mouth, the tighter he grips her head. He likes this, which is fine, Rey  _knows_ this is fine as long as she doesn't get fired. It has to be fine. But it also feels like the worst thing that's ever happened to her, and even though she agreed to this, it's nowhere near fine.

He slows to languid thrusts, stroking her face like he cares about her.

"Where'd you go up there?" he murmurs, tapping her temple with a soft smile. Rey's stuffed full of him, so she can't speak, can only meet his eyes as his length puffs her cheeks and make her gag. "Gotta keep you right here with me."

Rey doesn't respond, just stays knelt there while he slowly rocks into her mouth. For all her former insistence to her parents that she's 'not a little kid', she realizes now that she had no idea what she was talking about; she's so scared about what's happening and all she wants to do is cuddle into her parents' arms and be swaddles and protected.

Ben touches her face with both hands and forces her to hold his gaze as he flexes his hips into her mouth over and over before finally deciding to pull out. His cock is thick and at full-length now, coated in her spit. Rey doesn't know anything about sex, but she doesn't think just her spit is enough to lubricate her. 

Ben grips her under the arms and hauls her up, making Rey latch onto his biceps for balance. As soon as she's on her feet, he tugs her into him, pressing his face into her hair and nuzzling against her. His fingers slide under her red t-shirt and up, making it bunch under her armpits until she lifts her arms and lets him pull it off. He tosses it to the ground and holds her hips while she crosses her arms over her chest, her body caving in on itself. He doesn't pay attention, sliding his huge hands up her sides, over her abdomen. His palms are warm, but Rey shivers.

His fingers drop to her sweats, curving under the band of her pants and panties and jerking them both all the way down in one swift move. Rey's ass jiggles with the sharp pull, and she tries to cross her legs over her center. Ben doesn't stop her, his hands reaching behind her to undo her bra. He leans into her as he works on the clasp, kissing along her collarbone to her neck.

"You're going to enjoy it, Rey," he assures softly.

He undoes the clasp and pulls her bra off her shoulders. Rey moves her arms to let him, but then she quickly covers her chest again. This time, Ben doesn't let her. He takes her forearms in his hands and forces them open and to her sides. Rey whimpers and squirms, trying to curl her shoulders forward as though to cover herself.

He stands, rising far above her, and guides her arms to wrap around his middle. She lets him, her legs trembling so hard that it's hard to stand. Ben cups her cheeks and tilts her head up, kissing her forehead.

"You agreed to this," he says, lips gliding over her skin.

She can feel his cock hard and ready against her abdomen, smearing her own spit on her skin. For her part, she's dry, her fear preventing her from feeling any level arousal even though she's  _trying_.

"I know," she says meekly.

Her gaze is set on his throat, so she sees it when he swallows.

"Then relax."

He dips enough to grab her under the thighs, hoisting her fluidly up against his body, so smoothly that it makes the air _whoosh_ from her lungs. She grips his shoulders, scrambling to lock her legs around him. She doesn't care if she's pressing too hard on him with her thighs, she's just afraid of falling.

Ben exhales in an almost-laugh, having no trouble holding her against him with one hand while he lifts the other between them to spit on his fingers. He drops his hand beneath them, and Rey watches his arm move as he wets his cock with it, hears the slick sounds of him stroking himself. He rubs the rest through her dry labia, and then he's prodding her entrance, slippery and thick. Despite what he said, it still hurts as he starts to force his way in.

"Wait, are you using a condom?" Rey blurts, because she doesn't remember seeing him put one on, doesn't remember a condom packet, nothing.

But Ben doesn't answer, just continues to work himself into her, both hands supporting her and lowering her onto him on his own. He takes a step back and sits on the edge of his desk, his hands at her lower back, and he pulls her body all the way onto him. Rey cries out, face contorting, and grips his shoulders hard, her body tensing and going rigid.

"It's fine, it's fine," he says in a rush, flexing his hips up hard into her as though to bury himself deeper.

Rey winces. "A condom?"

"You're fine," he says, just as rushed.

"You're not wearing one?" she asks, voice pitching in fear.

"Shh, shh," he whispers, one arm wrapping around her body and holding her tightly against him. "Don't worry about it. Let's just fuck."

He thrusts up into her as much as he can, and Rey whimpers again, legs quivering. It's not even a slight pain, it's horrible - and he's not wearing a condom. She doesn't want any diseases and she _definitely_ doesn't want to risk getting pregnant. She panics, thinking he has to be too big to fit, it's too dangerous when he's not wearing a condom, he has to get  _out_.

"You're too big," she whimpers.

Ben grunts out a short laugh and leans forward, starting to fuck her with just an inch.

"You can take it," he breathes, dismissive, and slides her onto him.

Rey's too self-conscious and shy to voice that she's changed her mind, that she doesn't want to do this anymore. She's too scared to say 'no' now that's already said 'yes'.

It's hard not to moan in pain at every single minuscule stretch, her body working to accommodate something that's not meant to fit. She puffs out a breath and drops her head onto his shoulder while he pants in her ear and fucks up into her, nuzzling her head as soon as she rests it on him.

It hurts and hurts and hurts until it doesn't, until there's something else eclipsing the pain, something that makes each tug in her feel less like flesh being torn and more like an itch being scratched. The noises she's making branch off into tiny, pleased hums instead of pained whimpering. Ben seems to notice the difference, tightening his hold on her and starting to increase the length of his thrusts.

Within a few minutes, it feels good enough that Rey starts to rock her body to the pace of Ben's thrusts, meeting every one. She wraps her arms tight around his shoulders and jerkily rides him while Ben groans sharp and low in her ear, his hands wandering over her back. Rey cries out at the pleasurable pace of his movements, but quickly buries her face into his neck to muffle her sounds. She's oddly ashamed that she's getting any enjoyment out of this, like something's wrong with her for liking it.

Ben abruptly jerks to a stand, lowering her from his body to her feet. For one long, confusing second, Rey wonders if that was it, if he's done just like that. But then he steps out of his boxers and jeans and grabs her, spinning her and bending her over the desk with a palm between her shoulder blades.

Rey's breaths are quick and shallow - her body flooding with fright for no real reason - as Ben slides smoothly all the way into her and fucks her hard and fast without any build-up. It makes Rey tense and rise up on the tips of her toes, face scrunched in pain and fingers curled hard into her palms. Ben touches both hands to her back, sliding to her shoulders and squeezing as he drives into her, unrelenting. She's letting out weak murmurs, eyes closed and hands closed to gentle fists as her body jolts on the desk with each deep thrust. It burns, but there's a nice feeling, too.

Ben abruptly drops over her, hardly breaking the pace of his movements as he adjusts them so her back is pressed flush to her chest. His arm comes snugly around her midsection, the other pressed next to hers on the desk with his hand wrapped enclosing her fist. Rey swallows and feels her body build up again. Her former shame returns and grows in strength when she actively lowers a hand to her clit to help herself along. She buries the emotion as best as she can, not wanting to analyze whether something's wrong with her for wanting to orgasm.

She presses her cheek flat to the papers on the desk, quickly rubbing herself to her peak as Ben grunts and moans and twitches inside her. When her climax hits, it hits hard, making her slap her free hand over her mouth so she can moan desperately into it. She's never had anything thicker than her two fingers inside her, so coming around something so thick, something that's rubbing against her insides in the most delicious way, is a feeling unlike anything she's experienced. Her legs quake again, calf muscles tensing as she lifts her ass closer to him.

Ben laughs and groans at the same time, the hand over hers sliding between their bodies to squeeze her breast as he fucks her to his own climax. He pants and swears her name into her back, pressing damp kisses along her spine.

"You want me to fill you with cum?" he strains, and Rey's eyes bug.

"Not inside," she says quickly, turning her head sharply so she can say it over her shoulder. "Don't come inside!"

Ben squeezes her nipple and lets out a sharp, ragged moan, his hips stuttering against hers as he spurts his cum into her, more and more streaming from his cock with every thrust. Rey swallows and wets her lips, blinking and staring at the wall as he jerks her around with each thrust. She's not surprised he didn't listen to her. It was naive to think he would.

She stays there over the desk and waits while he presses kisses into her back, moving her hair away to kiss up her neck. He's cuddling her, stroking her skin and giving her soft kisses like what they just did was an act of love. Rey wants to shout at him, she wants to scream for him to get off, that she gave him what he wanted, so now he has to do his part.

She lacks the confidence to do any of that, though. Instead she lies there while he kisses her, a strange, lonely feeling expanding outward from her heart and slowly, softly filling her insides.

Ben murmurs in appreciation and grips her chin, tilting it up as much as he can so he can kiss her deeply, tongue sliding into her mouth. He keeps kissing her and invading her space - humming like he enjoys it - until Rey does the most to resist that she has so far and jerks her face away. Ben lets her, but presses one more lingering kiss to her shoulder before pulling out.

A small wash of excitement courses through her at the prospect of being able to finally get away from him. She lifts off the desk and starts grabbing her clothes. Ben reaches for her, maybe trying to hug her, but Rey side-steps and avoids it. He stands there doing nothing for a moment, and then he follows her lead and grabs for his clothes. They dress in silence, the only sounds being the rustle of fabric, the pull of a zipper.

Suddenly, Rey can't stand the silence.

"You're still gonna keep everything between us, right?" she asks, not looking at him as she quickly passes her hands over her hair.

Her voice is cold and mean, the way she feels yet won't really express.

"Like I said I would," he snips, annoyance seeping into his tone.

She won't even  _bother_ feeling bad for irritating him. What did he expect? That she'd want to cuddle and kiss and be held after he coerced her into having sex with him? She has nothing to apologize for. She doesn't care if she hurt his feelings -  _fuck_ his stupid fucking feelings.

Without waiting around for him to say anything more, Rey shoves her feet into her shoes and storms out of the office, already sniffling despite her determination not to cry. There's no way she's finishing her shift, though, and she hopes Ben's smart enough not to tell on her for it.

She manages to make it all the way to subway train home before she allows herself - just for a moment - to wallow in her misery. Tears fall to her clothing, soft droplets of wet dampening her sweater, and then she puts her headphones in and listens to Metal music so she can feel something besides confused, angered, self-hatred.

* * *

The next day, the mechanical bull is in full working order when Rey arrives to work. She can't believe it.

"Hey," she says as she comes up to Rose at concession, one hand resting on the counter. She nods to the ride. "How did that get fixed so quickly? I didn't see anyone come in for it."

"What are you talking about?" Rose asks, distracted with stocking the fridge with canned soda.

"The bull," Rey tries again. "I broke it yesterday, but it's already working."

Rose scoffs, pulling her head out of the fridge to look at Rey.

"That thing is indestructible. It 'broke' tons of times already." She uses air quotes when she says 'broke', which makes Rey frown.

"Sorry, what?" she asks, shifting her weight. "Ben said it was a big deal."

Rose rolls her eyes. "I'm sure he did. Don't worry about him, he was just screwing with you since you're new. Sometimes it conks out for a bit, but he just oils some straps and tightens some screws, and it's good as new. No biggie."

She tries to go back to what she's doing, but the sudden vehemence in Rey's next words pulls her back.

"What do you mean, 'no biggie'?" Her heart is pounding, revelation clearing her mind. "He acted like I was going to lose my job for it."

Rose looks uncomfortable at her tone, can't hold Rey's gaze.

"Yeah, sorry about him. He can be kind of a dick."

As understanding fully dawns - as Rey realizes that Ben used her under false pretenses and she  _let him_ \- she's hit with a sudden wave of dizziness. Her stomach tightens, her throat constricts, and she runs straight past Rose and down the hall to the bathroom. She didn't even have to ... what they did, it wasn't even necessary - it wasn't even her  _fault!_

She collapses to her knees in the unlit bathroom, one wretched sob leaving her as she leans over the toilet and hurls the remnants of her breakfast into the basin.

**Author's Note:**

> That ending was probably so predictable but oh. well.
> 
> And as always, I'm so sorry *takes off top hat; bows*


End file.
